How to Stay Connected In Your Relationship When the World is Falling Apart

The world these days, well, it's kind of a hot mess.

Political outrage.

Stock market sell-offs.

AI bots replacing your job, our job, and maybe even this newsletter.

If you're like most couples, all of this insanity happening on the outside has a way of creating more tension and stress on the inside.

The hard days get harder. 

The arguments get more intense.

Your deepest emotional triggers become more sensitive, raw, and exposed.

All of this is a long-winded way of saying: the world around us is pretty wild right now and that makes it even more difficult to stay connected as a couple.

So we think it's the perfect time to take a quick step back and ask: how can you and your partner stay close in times of chaos?

Tools

1. Lower the bar. (No, lower...)

In times of uncertainty, most couples try to do more — more productivity, more romantic dinners, more “let’s totally reorganize the garage this weekend.”

But here’s the truth: staying connected in these strange times is already a full-time job.

So lower the bar. Then lower it again. Make cereal for dinner. Celebrate putting on real pants (one leg at a time). Redefine “romantic” as watching trashy reality TV while snuggled up together in a bean bag.

Connection doesn’t have to be epic. It just has to be enough.

2. Call a 10-second time out.

You’re in the middle of a tense conversation. One of you says something slightly unhinged. The other one explodes. And now you’re arguing about how you argue.

Sound familiar?

When stress is high, so are emotions. That’s why we recommend the “10-Second Timeout.”

It’s simple. Either of you can call it. Step away. Breathe. Scream into a pillow. Do ten pushups. Then drop back into the conversation like two people who actually love each other.

3. Build Your Us-Against-The-World Plan.

What's that?

Don't worry. It's not about moving to a secluded bunker in the woods and subsisting off an oil-drum-sized 20-year-supply of peanut butter. 

It's simply a plan for how you might respond if things get really crazy -- the market drops 40 percent, the cost of groceries goes up 3X, or we enter a recession.

How might you cut your burn rate?

What are the values that should drive your decisions?

What opportunities might arise? Could you work less? Travel more? Invest at a discount?  

There's something about having a plan -- rather than just a bunch of free-floating anxious thoughts -- that can help you relax, even while the world around you continues to freak out.

You can’t fix the world. But you can build an emotional bunker for two.

And that might be the best thing you can do to stay connected in these uncertain times.