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80/80 Marriage

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Master The Relationship Superpower of Role Shifting in Marriage

habits roles sex Mar 30, 2022

 

Have you ever noticed that being in an intimate relationship is a lot like competing in a decathlon?

A winning decathlete can’t just be good at throwing a javelin. She must also excel at the high jump, running the 1600 meters, pole vaulting and a bunch of other seemingly unrelated events.

Likewise, in intimate relationships, you can’t just excel in one relationship role. You can’t just be amazing at sex or a wildly entertaining conversationalist or a superbly...

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3 Ways to 'Spring Clean' Your Relationship or Marriage

 

Spring is finally here.

If you're like us, you might be cleaning out your closet, sweeping the garage, or tossing out old files from your office.

There's something cathartic about spring clean up. And yet we think this ritual shouldn’t be limited to your home, garden, or storage room.

As you transition out of the snow, cold, and long nights of winter, what would it look like to also spring clean your relationship?

Here are our three favorite tools.

 

Tools

 

1....

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All The Hacks of The 80/80 Marriage

habits roles stress Feb 17, 2022

 

This week we're switching up the format of our newsletter. 

We're thrilled to share about our new favorite podcast (we think you'll agree) called All the Hacks, which was recently featured on The Tim Ferriss Show.

The podcast is hosted by Chris Hutchins and, on this latest episode, we had the privilege of talking with Chris and his wife Amy Fox about all the "hacks" of 80/80. 

Click here to listen.

This episode also served as the perfect opportunity to ask...

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The 10-Minute Role Clarity Playbook for Optimizing Modern Relationships

We're shifting our format for this week's 80/80 Newsletter.

We want to start with the exciting news of our recent segment on the TV news show The Los Angeles Times Today

The subject?

We talk about the gender gap in marriage and how clarifying roles can help mitigate inequality. To watch, click here.

 

The 10-Minute Role Clarity Playbook

And now for a practice that relates directly to the subject of roles. It's a practice we recommend all couples do at some point and,...

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What's the Game You Want to Win Together in Marriage?

Imagine marriage as a two-player game.

Each morning, you wake up and accumulate points by doing all the things you do: going to work, buying groceries, or helping out your kid with that impossible algebra problem. 

The goal? To win the game, together.

But that begs an essential question, a question that most couples never ask: “What's the game that we're trying to win together?"

It's an essential question because, let’s face it, a happy marriage could arise from striving...

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Is Your Marriage or Relationship 80/20, 50/50 or 80/80?

fairness habits roles Mar 10, 2021

The New York Times Review

We're thrilled to report that The New York Times did a review this week of our book, The 80/80 Marriage. They linked radical generosity in life to what happens in the bedroom. Read the article and ask yourself: "How does the way I do life show up in sex?" Click here to read the full article.

 

Now for the real question: Is your relationship 80/80?

If you've read our book, followed us on Instagram, or kept up with these newsletters,...

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Reintroducing Us and The 80/80 Marriage

At long last, we've launched our new book The 80/80 Marriage.

So we thought we would break from our usual format this week and use this as a chance to reintroduce ourselves and this idea of the 80/80 marriage.

So who are we anyway? Well, we met each other 24 years ago, during our senior year of high school. Ironically, we met in chemistry class, where the two of us shared the same lab table. We dated for a short while, went to senior prom together, and even got into the same college. But...

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You Can't Have It All in Marriage (But You Can Have This)

habits roles space stress Sep 15, 2020

Over the last several decades, our culture has adopted a new definition of success. It used to be that success in life involved being really good at one thing.

You might be an amazing writer. A brilliant teacher. A savvy businessperson. Or a devoted stay-at-home parent.

Nowadays, however, we've expanded the scope of success. It’s no longer enough to be good at just one thing. We now have to be good at, well, everything.

If you're an overachiever at work, with a stressful job, you...

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Keeping Score is Bad. Accountability is Good. But what's the difference?

conflict fairness roles stress Sep 02, 2020

It’s date night. You've arranged the childcare. And you and your partner have a clear agreement to meet at 6pm.

There’s just one problem. It’s now 6:15pm, and your partner is nowhere to be found.

You feel angry and rightly so. You text them: "WHERE ARE YOU?" When your partner finally does arrive, at 6:20pm, how do you respond?

It's a question worth asking because your response in moments like these has the power to strengthen or destroy your connection. When...

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Closing the Pandemic Gender Gap between Men and Women in Marriage

coronavirus fairness roles May 21, 2020

 

Last week, the New York Times reported a stunning statistic in an article entitled, "Nearly Half of Men Say They Do most of the Home Schooling. 3 Percent of Women Agree." According to a recent survey, 45 percent of men say they are spending more time homeschooling or helping their children with distance-learning during this crisis. 80 percent of women, by contrast, say they are spending more time homeschooling or helping their children. And, as the article's headline...

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