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80/80 Marriage

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How to Master the Safety/Adventure Cycle in Your Relationship

 

Lately, we’ve been thinking about two seemingly opposite ways to build connection in relationships.

On one side, there’s safety.

In a chaotic and crazy world, we need this. It’s the feeling of structure, support, and routine that reminds us everything is going to be alright. 

On the other, there’s adventure.

When we take risks, do something new, and explore the edges of our comfort zone, we also grow together. 

Both safety and adventure build...

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Try Out This Summer Family Vacation Hack

stress vacation Jun 21, 2022

 

Summer family vacations are a time of connection, joy, and fun.

They're also often the emotional equivalent of running an ultra-marathon or completing a full Ironman Triathlon.

Why?

During an ordinary workday, we have built-in breaks from each other. We go to school, go to meetings, check our email, or run errands around town alone.

During a day on vacation, however, this sprint-and-recover world of breaks flips upside down. We wake up, together. We eat, together. We drive long...

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Summer Is Here: What Are Your Vacation Values?

conflict habits vacation May 25, 2022

 

Just the other day, twenty years into our relationship, we stumbled upon a shocking new insight about values.

We’ve always understood the power of getting clear on your values as a couple. In The 80/80 Marriage, for instance, we argue that it doesn’t matter whether you value wealth, adventure, philanthropy, or stability. What matters is that you and your partner both feel aware of and aligned with these values.

So what new values insight surprised us?

The power of a...

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