Next week marks the 20th anniversary of our engagement.
And if there's one thing we've learned from two full decades of navigating the holidays as a couple, it's this:
If you stay connected and in sync, you can manage even the most bat-shit-crazy emotional drama that comes your way.
If you don't, the stress of the holidays will land on your life like an atomic bomb.
So today, we want to give you a single practice for staying connected during the holidays.
Take a Grinch Day.
What's...
Over the summer, we did something crazy.
For the first time in over 20 years, we took 10 weeks off from our work, left our home, and traveled to France. We went on Family Sabbatical.
We first came across this idea five years ago during our interviews for The 80/80 Marriage. Several couples told us, "The best decision we ever made was to take our kids on a Family Sabbatical."
We were persuaded.
So we spent a year and a half preparing for the trip. We learned French, a new language for...
Summer family vacations are a time of connection, joy, and fun.
They're also often the emotional equivalent of running an ultra-marathon or completing a full Ironman Triathlon.
Why?
During an ordinary workday, we have built-in breaks from each other. We go to school, go to meetings, check our email, or run errands around town alone.
During a day on vacation, however, this sprint-and-recover world of breaks flips upside down. We wake up, together. We eat, together. We drive long...
Along with summer comes a parenting and relationship paradox.
Less structure means more space. Time for spontaneous fun. Picnics. Trips to the pool.
But less structure may also mean that your priorities fade away.
And for couples with kids, this often means that even though you have more time for fun, you have less time for each other.
Here are two ways to approach this challenge:
Lately, we’ve been thinking about two seemingly opposite ways to build connection in relationships.
On one side, there’s safety.
In a chaotic and crazy world, we need this. It’s the feeling of structure, support, and routine that reminds us everything is going to be alright.
On the other, there’s adventure.
When we take risks, do something new, and explore the edges of our comfort zone, we also grow together.
Both safety and adventure build...
Just the other day, twenty years into our relationship, we stumbled upon a shocking new insight about values.
We’ve always understood the power of getting clear on your values as a couple. In The 80/80 Marriage, for instance, we argue that it doesn’t matter whether you value wealth, adventure, philanthropy, or stability. What matters is that you and your partner both feel aware of and aligned with these values.
So what new values insight surprised us?
The power of a...
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