KLEMP INSIGHTS
NEWSLETTER

What’s one of the biggest bedroom challenges for modern couples?

It’s not technique.

It’s mismatch.

Researchers call it sexual desire discrepancy (SDD). Translation: one partner wants sex more often—and the other… doesn’t.

Sounds simple, but it’s not because the moment desire stops lining up, sex quietly turns into a power dynamic.

For the higher-drive partner, every “not tonight” can feel like a tiny rejection. Enough of those and they either:

• Retreat (stop initiating, stop riskin...

Here’s how we usually think about relationships:

Connection = good.

Ease = good.

Flow = good.

And everything on the other side of that equation?

Arguing = bad.

Fights = bad.

Conflict = bad.

Friction = bad.

This is the central belief of the friction-free relationship: the idea that the love should feel smooth, effortless, and always in sync.

Celebrities like George Clooney reinforce this idea when they say things like, “We’ve never had an argument. We still haven’t.” Social media i...

Has this ever happened to you?

You say: “Hey, how’s it going?”

The other person says: “Everything’s a total shit show. I spend literally all day Ubering my kids around. I'm in the car so much that I feel like I'm 90. I've got sciatica, this weird rash on my stomach, and my left eye has started twitching every time I feel stressed."

You didn't ask for it. But there it is: a good-old fashioned emotional rant.

This other person might be your friend, your parent, your sibling, your coworker...

Ah, the holidays.

It's a time of celebration, reflection, and merry-making.

But let's be real here. It can also be a time of soul-crippling stress.

Why?

Because in addition to all the fun stuff, you may still have presents to buy, packages to wrap, work projects to complete, social logistics to coordinate, kids to take care of (all day), family gatherings to attend, and a now late stack of holiday cards that still need stamps.

All this madness can turn this splendid time into a two-wee...

Wake up. Workout. Shower. Make the coffee. Eat. Check email. Work. Eat. Family time. TV. Go to bed. Repeat.

Sound familiar? There's word for this feeling: monotony.

It's an experience we’ve heard a lot of people talking about lately.

Couples with kids describe trudging through the never-ending logistics of school drop-offs, trombone lesson pick-ups, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and peace-making the latest extended family conflict.

Couples without kids describe the unnerving feeling that...

If you’ve ever chased the TikTok algorithm down a late-night wormhole, you may have encountered the “bird test.” If not, here’s the gist.

A couple years ago, an influencer named Alyssa Cardib posted a now-viral one-minute clip on how to instantly assess the health of your relationship.

Her method: in casual conversation, say something random like, “What’s the deal with pistachios?” or her classic, “I saw a bird today.” Then watch your partner’s response.

If they lean in—“Tell me everyth...

Think back to the last big argument you had with your partner.

See if you can remember what it was about.

Now go one level deeper: What was your mindset in that moment—the background atmosphere of emotions, thoughts, and beliefs?

We're guessing it sounded something like: “This sucks. How are we arguing about the same stupid thing again? Why are we always fighting? Why can’t we be more like that other couple? Is something wrong with us? Is this even going to work?”

Let's call this The Co...

We're sorry to be the ones to bring you this news. But this is a hard truth you need to hear.

There is a vast, worldwide, conspiracy afoot against you and your partner ever going on another date night.

Your kids are in on it. They'll do just about anything to interrupt that dinner out you had planned for a Thursday night. They'll get in trouble at school. They’ll break their arm. They’ll get a stomach flu. They might even orchestrate a massive fight between siblings at the very moment of yo...

Today, we have a thought experiment for you.

Think of your time and energy like a financial portfolio. Every block of your day—work, couple time, family time, exercise, friends, logistics—counts as an “investment” aimed at a future return.

ROI of work: purpose and financial stability.

ROI of family time: joy, fun, shared memories.

ROI of exercise: health and longevity (aka “retirement without a walker”).

The purpose of this thought experiment isn't to reduce the vastness of life down ...

Here's one way to talk to your partner. You reveal the full truth of your experience, your little victories, your hopes and dreams, and even the things that scare you. 

Here's another way to talk to your partner. You become like news anchors reporting on the latest events.

“It sure is cold outside, isn’t it?” you say.

“I was back-to-back with meetings at work all day,” says your partner.

“The line at Costco was insane,” you report.

We have a name for these conversations: "talking abou...