We have some reassuring words for you today.
If you've ever had a knock-down-drag-out fight or even just a heated argument on date night, you are not alone.
We certainly have. In fact, we had our most explosive fight ever during what should have been a wonderful date night sitting outside on the patio at a Mediterranean restaurant.
It's an argument we recount at the beginning of The 80/80 Marriage -- an argument over which one of us would pick up our daughter from daycare.
Has this ever happened to you?
You just spent all morning making breakfast, unloading the dishwasher, and packing lunches for the kids. Your partner, meanwhile, just strolled in from a morning workout, seemingly oblivious to all your hard work.
Or you just spent ten hours working your face off so that you and your partner can afford the vacations, the house, and the cost of day care. Your partner, meanwhile, just arrived home from a long walk with a friend and a spacious afternoon where...
School is in session. All those glorious summer vacations have come to an end. The days are getting shorter.
And most companies and organizations (consciously or unconsciously) view the time from now until Thanksgiving as the last remaining productive days of 2021.
The post-Labor Day fall sprint has begun.
As this sprint begins, we think it's worth remembering one of the most essential principles of managing energy. It's an idea that comes from Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, the...
Imagine your relationship as a boat.
In this boat, you've got you and your partner. You might also have a kid or three. And then you've got parents, in-laws, friends, and extended family hanging off the stern.
Oh, and don't forget about things like careers, financial planning, daily logistics, shopping, Instagram and TikTok time, house repairs, laundry, cleaning, school events, and the thousand or so other things that take up space on this boat of marriage and life.
Now imagine what happens...
Here’s a fun question for your next date night: “Do we feel rich?"
Notice that the question here isn’t, “are we rich?" That’s a much less interesting question, one you can easily answer with a quick Google search.
"Do you feel rich?" is a much better question because it turns out to have almost nothing to do with the dollars in your bank account.
We first learned this in our interviews with couples for The 80/80 Marriage.
One couple we talked to decided...
Over the last 50 or so years, we've witnessed a strange shift in the definition of success. Success used to mean becoming excellent at one thing. You could be a successful writer by authoring great books. You could be a successful cook by creating delicious meals. You could be a successful businessperson by getting regular promotions at work.
Today, however, the scope of success has shifted, from being good at one thing to, well, just about everything. It’s not...
Imagine marriage as a two-player game.
Each morning, you wake up and accumulate points by doing all the things you do: going to work, buying groceries, or helping out your kid with that impossible algebra problem.
The goal? To win the game, together.
But that begs an essential question, a question that most couples never ask: “What's the game that we're trying to win together?"
It's an essential question because, let’s face it, a happy marriage could arise from striving...
If you believe everything you see on Facebook and Instagram, the summer family vacation is an experience of bliss.
It’s that exquisite time when you can unplug, connect, laugh, and go on adventures together, as a family. It’s full of smiles, fun, and glorious sunny days where everything works out with perfect logistical precision.
If you’ve ever actually been on a summer family vacation, however, you know better.
You know that this precious time is also a lot...
For many couples, the thought of going on a couples retreat triggers a mixture of confusion and awkwardness. It leaves you with Vince Vaughn's bewildered look in the picture above from the classic film, Couples Retreat.
We know because this is exactly how we felt in the early years of our marriage. “Why would we ever spend a weekend together doing random exercises to help us love each other more?" we thought. “This whole marriage thing shouldn’t be that hard."
But then we...
Imagine that it’s been one of those days.
You’re tired, cranky. You feel stressed and irritated. And, on top of it all, you feel like you’re the one doing everything -- at work, with the kids, and at home.
Then, your partner casually strolls through the door and says, “I thought you were planning to have dinner ready by 6 PM?"
In an instant, a tidal wave of thoughts and emotions washes over you. You feel the piercing sensations of anger rising through your belly...